In Pursuit of What Matters

As the new year approaches, you can feel it — that renewed sense of ambition. That uplifting sense of what's possible.

But here's what I've learned to pause and ask before I get swept up in January energy: What goals are worth pursuing? And perhaps more importantly — are they actually mine?

Because the fresh start effect gets you energised, but it doesn't make you discerning. Think about the goals floating around in your mind right now.

Most of us are following scripts we never consciously chose. And we've been doing it for so long, we've forgotten we could write our own.

The Default Scripts We Follow

We set goals based on what we think we should want (societal expectations), what sounds impressive (status signaling), or what everyone else is doing (mimetic desire).

Notice the pattern? All three outsource the question of what to want. They look outward instead of inward.

Oscar Wilde captured this perfectly: “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

Why do we follow these scripts? Because we forget: just because something is statistically “normal” doesn't mean it's right for you. And just because millions of people share the same ambitions doesn't make those ambitions universally worthwhile.

So how do you know if a goal is truly yours?

Here's your quick check before 1st January:

• What would I pursue if no one could ever know? This removes external validation entirely
• Who do I secretly envy – and what does that reveal? Envy is data showing what you actually want
• If I could redesign my life from scratch, what would I not include? This reveals what you're tolerating rather than choosing

If any of these questions make you uncomfortable, that discomfort is data — it means you're touching something real.

The Real Opportunity

The tragedy isn't failing to achieve goals. It's succeeding at ones that were never truly yours.

So before you finalise your resolutions for 2026, I invite you to ask yourself: Do I want this resolution, or do I just think I should?

Because the real opportunity of the new year isn't just the energy to pursue goals. It's the clarity to pursue the right ones.

The ones that, when you achieve them, you'll know were worth the climb.